Living outside the box has not been an easy thing, but at the same time, it has helped me to think differently than most. I have lived many ways, many roles, and lifestyles. I am thinking that it is because I have lived that way, I am more open-minded about things that go bump in the night. Here is my spiritual life. At this point, I need to say this is MY perspective and I honor your religious views, so just go with it and “see” my perspective.
I grew up in a rich Catholic household with parents who adopted me right after I was born. I was immediately shown religion and what happens because of it. My new mother had to renounce her Jewish faith in order to marry my Roman Catholic, home-building father. She loved him so much that she bowed to his religious doctrine only to be promptly disowned by her family because of that choice. I think I was too young to understand why a loving family would do such a thing.
I was taken to church and went through a Latin mass with the book that translated everything I was hearing and seeing. It told me when to kneel. Stand. Sit. Pray. I thought about what was going on with the people in the pews. Pews, funny word peeyous. I didn’t relate to the God portrayed by the church; but, there was that good feeling when I attended. Why was that?
As I grew up, I bounced from one Christian religion to the next searching for “the one true religion”. I was told by each church I had to be baptized within that church so I could be saved. The pastors and people within the churches felt a bit “off” to me, and I couldn’t quite figure out why. The best way to describe the feeling is that I felt uneasy by their fervor to control under the guise of the “perpetual ecstatic happy” they embodied. I also couldn’t commit myself to a being who was “coming to save me some day” as described in a book written allegorically by men for man. Everyone around me was so into this book! Something inside me kept telling me that everything I needed was within me now.
I loved the hippie movement teaching love and letting it all hang out. I really got into the freedom of expression thing and left religion alone. Tie dyed articles of color and loose clothing with necklaces of colorful beads was the “in” thing and I was totally into it. Headbands. Rainbows. Love. Peace. Love-ins. Flower Power. Art. Psychedelic Music. And a lot of pot to go with it. I felt alive and engaged smack dab in the middle of the scene. I even was a part of a march in Washington, D.C. I choose to mention this as part of my spiritual self growth because of the philosophy and a state of being I acquired from it.
Turned out I felt the same about men as I did about religion. Didn’t feel the connection although I tried for years and through one marriage. (It just wasn’t my bag.) I was emotionally raked through the coals from both sides of the love fence, and as the end of all the drama played out, I decided to perch with a white feathered companion instead. I found the filter of sex was now out of the equation and I discovered that the craziness went away as well. What was left was a place of peaceful center. I was now neutralized and could appreciate things on a much deeper level.
Behind a wall, I created my breathing space. I learned to read Tarot and used the cards in readings for a living. I educated myself on religion, philosophy, computers, gadgets, quantum physics, the matrix, how to heal, and found myself deeply involved in the paranormal. I knew things. I saw things. I felt things. I am effective in clearing and feel so empowered and energized while in the connection.
While in deep meditation one evening, I saw what I have learned through the years merge with the crazy events of my life to form into one free, energetically empowered, spiritual soul. My Divine Higher Self has been guiding me from beyond this world into this moment of conscientious awakening! I remember! I am part of a team that signed up to awaken and help my fellow spirits awaken to their own path unencumbered by predisposed doctrines. I learned about universal life and I am a Jedi Knight, and I have a certificate to prove it.😋
I have a diverse life, I live in a peaceful diverse community, my extended family is filled with people from all walks of life who believe and live the way they see fit. And, their presence in my life keeps me sharp and entertained. I know humor and I know how to use it.
No wonder I wake up laughing. Peace and be kind.